Final Draft
How does a bird fly? Such a delicate, docile, yet defiant creature who soars the sky. Never have I been so obsessed with a creature who didn’t speak the same tongue as I did. The songs it sang drove me into a blissful state of pure admiration and appreciation. My fondness of birds sprouted on a brisk November afternoon when I decided to turn on the television. As my thumb traversed across the remote, it felt like fate that from the incredibly vast collection NOW TV provided, I would coincidentally choose NatGeoWild. Immediately, the soft yet commanding voice of the narrator shot through my head like an arrow. Suddenly, a sparrow flew across the once empty screen. Its wings reached out to my soul, grabbed my heart, and enlightened my mind. The spectacle which followed could only be summed up by one word, paradise. The sparrow was speaking to me, ordering me, comforting me. It told me to follow its path, to fly high and reach for the stars. Listening to its commands, to soar out in the open, free, uninhabited skies, I decided that I must do the same.
I sprinted out of the house, onto the streets, and finally towards the park. I began my earnest journey to fly like a bird. On my path towards flight, I was interrupted by a small, tiny, and quaint red sparrow. “Chirp chirp,” its squeaky yet charming songs conveyed a message of inspiration in my heart. As it sang into my ears, its vibrant harmony told me of the heavens above. In a verse I can only describe as being magical, it inspired me to carry on my journey to take flight and leave the earthly plane. Immediately, I took off and blitzed towards the park. As I arrived at the park, I could only imagine what treasures awaited me in the skies. I ran towards the stairs, and the skies stared me from up above. It didn’t matter that I was young, or that I was smaller than all my classmates, I was going to fly. I reached, pulled, and climbed my way up the monstrosity which was the enlarged adult steps. The skies were mine.
In an almost automatically natural way, my cheerfully excited body bent my knees for me. Squatting lower than ever before, I began generating energy to take off. Subsequently, my arms started to feel restless, like the wings of a baby bird trying to fly for the first time. In a jolt of electricity, I flew. Leaving the ground beneath me, I flew. Feeling the wind brush up against me, I flew. I was truly in paradise. I had not realized it then, but there is a force stronger than a child’s definition of paradise, and that force is gravity. Immediately, I was pulled from my illusion of flight into the ground beneath me, which seemed to come closer and closer and closer towards me. My arms adducted in rapid succession in a desperate attempt to keep me in the air but to no avail. I fell hopelessly into the abyss I tried so hard to leave. Thump! My body turned in to a jar of freshly mixed up Jamba juice Baha blast mocktail.
My now jar-of-freshly-juiced-up-Jamba-juice-Baha-blast-mocktail body was filled with excruciating pain. It was so painful, in fact, that I unknowingly cried out for my mother. If that wasn’t bad enough, the security guards around the park had to carry me home to my mother. On the way back to my house, the radiant sun glared into my eyes, the clouds huddled over me in a condescending manner, and the birds encircled me and laughed at my weak, fragile, human body. It seemed like I would never be able to fly. The strenuous activities my body endured to get a glimpse of airtime amounted to nothing. Defeated, I receded into my room like a bird encapsulating itself inside its nest.
Draft 2
How does a bird fly? Such a delicate, docile, yet defiant creature who soars the sky. Never have I been so obsessed with a creature who didn’t speak the same tongue as I. The songs they sang drove me into a blissful state of pure admiration and appreciation. My fondness of birds sprouted when I was just six to seven. It was a brisk November afternoon when I decided to turn on the television. As my thumb traversed across the remote, it felt like fate that from the incredibly vast collection NOW TV provided, I would coincidentally choose NatGeoWild. Immediately, the soft yet commanding voice of the narrator shot through my head like an arrow. Suddenly, an angel flew across the once empty screen. Its wings reached out to my soul, grabbed my heart, and enlightened my mind. The spectacle which followed could only be summed up by one word, paradise. The sparrow was speaking to me, ordering me, comforting me. It told me to follow in its steps, to fly high and reach for the stars. I heeded its commands, to soar out in the open, free, uninhabited skies.
I sprinted out of the house, onto the streets, and finally towards the park. I began my earnest journey to fly like a bird. On my path towards the summit, I was interrupted by a small, tiny, and quaint red sparrow. “Chirp chirp,” its squeaky yet charming songs conveyed a message of inspiration in my heart. As it sang into my ears, its vibrant harmony told me of the heavens above. In a verse I can only describe as being magical, it inspired me to carry on my journey to take flight and leave the earthly plane. Immediately, I took off and blitzed towards the park. As I arrived at the park, I could only imagine what treasures awaited me in the skies. I took for the stairs, the skies stared me from up above. It didn’t matter that I was young, or that I was smaller than all my classmates, I was going to fly. I reached, pulled, and climbed my way up the monstrosity which werewas the enlarged adult steps. The summit was mine.
My cheerfully excited body practically bent my knees for me. Squatting lower than ever before, I began generating energy to take off. Subsequently, my arms started to feel restless, like the wings of a baby bird trying to fly for the first time. In a jolt of electricity, I flew. Leaving the ground beneath me, I flew. Feeling the wind brush up against me, I flew. I was truly in paradise. I had not realized it then, but there is a force stronger than a child’s definition of paradise, and that force is gravity. Immediately, I was pulled from my illusion of flight into a vacuum cleaner. The ground beneath me seemed to come closer and closer and closer towards me. My arms adducted in rapid succession in a desperate attempt to keep me in the air. A fish out of water, I fell hopelessly into the abyss I tried so hard to leave. Thump! My body turned in to a jar of freshly mixed up Jamba juice Baha blast mocktail.
My now jar-of-freshly-juiced-up-Jamba-juice-Baha-blast-mocktail body was filled with excruciating pain. It was so painful, in fact, that I unknowingly cried out for my mother. If that wasn’t bad enough, security around the park had to carry me home to my mother. On the way back to my house, the radiant sun glared into my eyes, the clouds huddled over me in a condescending manner, and the birds encircled me and laughed at my weak, fragile, human body. It seemed like I would never be able to fly. The strenuous activities my body endured to get a glimpse of airtime amounted to nothing. Defeated, I receded into my room like a tortoise encapsulating itself inside its shell.
Draft 1
How does a bird fly? Such a delicate, docile, yet defiant creature who soars the sky. Never have I been so intrigued by obsessed with a creature thatwho didn’t speak the same tongue as I did. The songs they sang drove me into a blissful state of pure admiration and appreciation. My fondness of birds sprouted when I was just six to seven. It was a brisk November afternoon when I decided to turn on the television. As my thumb traversed across the remote, it felt like fate that from the incredibly vast collection NOW TV providedtv provided, I would coincidentally choose NatGeoWild. Immediately, the soft, yet commanding voice of the narrator shot through my head me like an arrow. Suddenly, an angel flew across the once bland, boring, empty screen. , Iits wings reached out to my soul, grabbedbing my heart, enlightened my mind identity. The spectacle which followed couldan only be summed up by one word, “pParadise.” The sparrow was speaking to me, ordering me, comforting my naive, simple minded selfe. It told me to follow in its steps, to fly high and reach for the burning balls of gas in the sky stars. I heeded its commands, to soar out in the open, free, uninhabited skies.
I sprintedSprinting out of the house, sprinting out onto the streets, andsprinting finally towards the park. I began my earnest journey to flyinto flying like a bird. On my path towards the summit, I was interrupted by a small and tiny and quaintquant red sparrow. “Chirp chirp,” its squeaky,squeally yet charming songs conveyed a message of inspiration in my chest. As ithe sang into my heart, its vibrant harmony told me of the heavens above. It commanded me, guided me,
Brainstorming
- Yogi bear 3D
- Crashing a tricycle
- Ben 10
- Eating a banana
- Digital music
- Drawing 1
- Men’s chorus
- Harry Potter
- Kaleem Ullah
- I tried to fly by jumping and flapping my wings
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Natte's Writing Blog 
I really enjoy seeing your thought process. It puts the reader in your shoes and lets us experience what you did through your vivid descriptions.
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