Do the benefits of machines outweigh the negative effects it had on humans? In the Essay Intelligent Machines, the author introduces the issue above about the increasing presence of intelligent automated machines. In the three different perspectives below it, the authors give their own take on the issue.
In Perspective One, the author argues that with the increasing amount of machines taking over for regular people, we lose our own humanity. The basic courtesy, respect, and tolerance for other people that we once had disappeared with the increase of automated machines. This perspective is strong as it evaluates a problem not thought about a lot when speaking of the negative side effects of machines replacing humans. What this perspective lacks is the necessity and reliance of machines. It doesn’t take into account how many people would be affected by a decrease in machines. Basic courtesy, respect, and tolerance will not be a strong enough influence for people to lose machines that build cars, assemble smartphones, and package their food. As a result, the author does not craft a strong perspective as his argument does not affect how the readers feel about technology.
In Perspective Two, the author argues that machines are better than humans at repetitive and precise jobs. The increasing amount of intelligent machines will bring prosperity and progress to everyone on earth. This perspective is strong as it justifies the use and clarifies the necessity of machines. This perspective lacks any and all compassion for the people who will lose their jobs for this technology. With this in mind, this perspective proves to us that machines are indeed necessary if we are to function. It makes the readers question, What would happen if there were no machines performing repetitive and precise jobs? Despite the fact that it shares no compassion with low-income workers and their jobs, perspective two is a strong perspective as it solidifies the importance and place of machines in our world
In perspective three, the author argues that machines make humans question their place in the world. This is good because it pushes both machines and humans to be better. This perspective is strong as it depicts humans and machines growing simultaneously. Challenging our ideas about the identity of humans is an interesting take on how machines help us question our identity and place in the world. This perspective lacks any solid foundation as it sounds very broad. This won’t help the readers change their perspective as there is not a lot of reasoning behind it. Like the unimaginable possibilities, this perspective provides nothing for the reader to cling on to.
My perspective on the increasing amount of intelligent machines is that machines are good at repetitive and precise jobs. I also believe that they can help humans grow and reach new and unimaginable possibilities. I do not agree with perspective one since the cost of machines far outweigh basic courtesy, respect, and tolerance. I would go as far as to say that most individuals would say the same. I am in full agreement with perspective two as it highlights the necessity of machines and how they help make humans better. Even though it might hurt the individuals whose jobs have been taken up by the machines, the new introduction of new machinery will form jobs for people. This reinforces the fact that this efficiency leads to prosperity and progress for everyone. I partially agree with the perspective three as it does acknowledge the connection between humans and machines and how they bring each other to a higher standard, but I do not believe that they will challenge what humans are or can be. Humans created machines to make the world a better, easier, and more intuitive place to live. With that in mind, it would not challenge our place in the world.
Ideas and Analysis: 5
I think that you have good ideas in your essay and you are able to articulate them in an understandable and clear manner. I like how you distinctively show the strengths and weaknesses of each perspective and how much you agree or disagree with them.
Development and Support: 4
I think that you can add more hypothetical example and skillful reasoning to support your reason or opinion on certain perspectives. I think that in your introductory paragraph you can add a thesis to make your stance more clear as to what you think about machines. You might also want to add a conclusion paragraph describing how your idea and the perspectives connect. As mentioned above, I think that you can add more support and reasoning to your perspective and during the analysis of the perspectives. I’m not sure about this, but to me the essay seems somewhat dry.
Organization: 5.
Transitions between paragraphs sound fluent and easy to comprehend. I really like the way how you specifically critique each perspective in each paragraph and use your overall view of ‘intelligent machines’ as a way to conclude the passage. And you can improve your assage by including making the overall central claim more evident in the intro and 2, 3, 4 body paragraphs.
Language Use: 4
I think that you used basic vocabulary that was understandable and clear to the readers, but there was no particular skillful use of vocabulary. I think that you could increase your word choice to enhance your writing to make it sound better.
Reflection
I think that I can improve my writing by varying the length of different sentences as well as using more examples and evidence when agreeing/ disagreeing with arguments and perspectives. For how machines and humans coexist, I could use examples of how machines produce our cars and technology, and how if we didn’t have machines, we would be worse off.
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